“In The Mud & Mire”

I feel the weight of the world.

Anytime I think, I feel the weight of humanity on that thought.

I look out into the world and feel sad at what I see. I feel discouraged at the state of society. But it’s not a regular sadness or discouragement. It’s magnitude goes deep. The level of grief I feel to the thought of humanity is colossal!

I feel myself at the pits’ depth of despair.

I feel it pointless to call out for help or to write my cares down. I feel there is such a great sense of hopelessness in me that keeps me from trying.

And I want to try, I want to care, I want to be of help to the world around me. But I feel completely insignificant.

Everyone is already talking, though many have nothing truly meaningful to share. But that’s the problem!

There’s no depth to humanity anymore and I feel the searing pain of emptiness seeping off of a blind society.

The world is lost, it’s dark, and I feel a deep pain for it but that pain paralyzes me rather than propels me forward.

I feel ready to leave this earth. I crave the literal presence of my Heavenly Father.

This world is not my home.

The world’s darkness feels too deep for me to fix, so I’m ready. And every feeling that I experience always immediately brings me back to this reality.

Psalm 40:1-3 *stay tuned